I know I haven't posted in a hundred years but I have been so out of it that I really haven't done anything in a while. Also, I dont have a picture yet because I haven't gotten myself together enough to look decent for a picture but I promise to get one going for tomorrow.
So this post is a depressing one. If you were hoping for sweet thoughts and all that then it's not your lucky day! haha.
I am so tired of being pregnant and today was one of those days ( which I don't have very often) where I can't stop thinking about how miserable I feel. I want this done! I always have aches and pains but today I just want to cry about them...
I am tired of being tired all the time. Even when I have a rare night that I sleep well I end up really needing a nap in the middle of the day. At night I am so exhausted from just holding myself up all day but I lay down to go to sleep and my back starts to hurt and my ribs hurt, man do they hurt! I lay on one side until the pain is unbearable then try to switch to the other side and wait for it again. The other problem is, is that my belly is so heavy and huge now that it requires a huge effort just to turn over. It is so painful. Not to mention this whole time I can't breath so you can imagine how out of breath I get by flopping around all night.
My new thing is to try to sleep sitting up... what a joke. So, I just lay there miserable looking up things on my iphone like, " What are the possibilities of early labor?"or " How can I convince my dr. not to let me go past my due date?" or I try to find baby blogs with women who are just as miserable as I am.
So, during the day all I can do is try to stay awake long enough to accomplish at least one thing... do the dishes, fold the laundry, pick up the living room... some days all I can manage to do is text Parker that I appreciate that he is understanding and working so hard while I just sit here.
I think emotionally that has been the hardest thing, feeling completely useless. I know I am very pregnant but I still want to live... I want my husband to come home to a clean house and dinner ready. I want to tell him all the things I did that day. I want to look pretty for him when he gets home. I feel like right now it's impossible to do all those things everyday. I hate it.
Not to mention that when you can't do anything, when all you do is sit and think about how much time you have left and wishing it were over, it makes it 10x worse!
Wow, what a pity party. I'm sure anyone who has ever been pregnant is thinking... "ya join the club, that's just what happens" and they are right. I just needed to vent and this seemed like a good place to do it so that way if it's too annoying you can just stop reading! haha.
I am way excited to just have my baby here and I am so grateful to be pregnant at all but today was just one of those days!!